I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
