nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
