It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
