dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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