im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
