if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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