i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
