Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
