can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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