all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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