Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
