You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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