We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
