she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
