I wish I could teleport
You're so nebulous sometimes
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
