just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
