I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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