I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
