so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
