it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
dude. I can hear the air.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
