I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
