your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
