his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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