If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
