i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
