Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
