I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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