her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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