and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
