Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
