Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
