Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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