the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
