Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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