i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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