i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
