Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
