we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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