I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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