atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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