You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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