my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
