North Korea, Best Korea!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
