I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
