Christians are straight up FREAKS
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
