I can tuck mytits in my pants
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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