i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
