I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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