Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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