totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
