Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize