4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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