I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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