I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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