He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
